Grace

First, let me start with a couple disclaimers...
1. I have wanted to start blogging for a while because since I'm home all day every day now I have a lot of thoughts going through my mind. I haven't started because of the appearance of my blog. Who knows when I will get it figured out so I decided I may as well just start and get that figured out later.

2. I am not a great writer, so sorry in advance. I would love to share what is going on in our lives as well as things I have been thinking about. I hope you enjoy despite that fact!



But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. -2 Corinthians12:9

Grace. A word that constantly comes up for me. Wouldn't it be easy to just believe what He says is true? That HIS grace is sufficient for me and in my weakness HIS power is made perfect. I have always had a hard time giving myself grace. I expect perfection and nothing less. My expectations are high and often unattainable. This has gotten even worse now that I'm a mom. I want to do it right, I want Raegan to be a good baby who sleeps well, eats well and is happy. I don't want to do something that will impact her in a negative way so I am constantly thinking about what I am doing and how it is going to effect her. Things like if I rock her to sleep is she ever going to be able to get to sleep on her own, should I be feeding her solid foods yet and how much and if I feed her fruit first is she going to eat her vegetables. Let me just tell you, it gets tiring thinking like this all day. These are only a couple examples of what goes on in my mind.

I was talking with somebody the other day about how I am going to mess up and I have messed up in the past. I am going to make mistakes and that's okay. They brought up a good point about how my expectations and lack of grace for myself could actually effect Raegan in a negative way. If she grows up seeing the pressure I put on myself what is she going to think? Will she think that I expect the same things from her that I expect from myself? I never thought about it that way and I appreciated that perspective.

So here I am at the end of another day where I didn't give myself any grace. I am tired and cranky and emotional. I don't like it. I want God's grace to be sufficient for me. He freely give me grace, why can't I give it to myself? Starting tonight I am going to try harder. Try and focus on His word and the promise He makes. We'll see how that goes. :)