Arizona Trip

Last weekend we went out to Arizona to visit Jeff's wonderful family and had such a great time. Raegan is old enough that she can crawl around and play with her cousins, which is so fun to watch.

We went over to Jeff's sister Julie's house one morning while Jeff, Keith, and Nancy went to watch Kaelyn play soccer. Noah and Caleb had a fun time giving Raegan all of the toys from the basket while she was in the jumper.



Here is Noah and Raegan on the floor together.



We also tried to get a good picture of Raegan with her cousins and Jeff's cousins kids. It was a little difficult to do with a 5 year old, two 3 year olds, two 9 month olds and a 7 month old! This was one of the funny ones.

milestones

It truly is amazing the amount things that happen each day with Raegan. She is growing up and starting to get more brave and explore different areas of the house. This past weekend she started to crawl a little bit. She still is figuring it out and would rather scoot to toys because it's much faster.



Then on Monday I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and she was crawling around on the floor in the family room. Next thing I know I walk around the corner to check on her and she has gotten up on her knees and is up on the bookshelf pulling off books. :)



Yesterday I went into her room after she had woken up from her nap and she was sitting up! It was the first time that she had gotten herself up to a sitting position from laying down.



I have really been thinking about how blessed we are that I am able to stay at home with her. I get to experience these fun milestones each day and it is such a gift. I am thankful. I wonder what's going to happen today!

this is our God

Here are some lyrics I have been reflecting on this morning to a song called "This is Our God" by Hillsong.

Your grace is enough
More than I need
And your word I will believe
I wait for you
Draw near again
And your spirit make me new
And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Your presence in me
Jesus light the way
By the power of your word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By your spirit i am free
And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Sovereign king
Rescued the world
This is our God

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever out God is glorified
Sovereign king
Rescued the world
This is our God

Ever since the first time I heard this song I have loved it. God wants us to fall at his feet and worship him. In the midst of such a broken and uncertain world the one thing we have to cling to is the truth that God is constant, never changing, and has sacrificed it all for us. For me. For you. I have days when I don't understand all the brokenness and my heart hurts for the people I love who are in so much pain. Today is one of those days. Just thinking about it all brings me to tears. One of my strengths is empathy, which allows me to feel what other people are feeling. It is a blessing most of the time but can definitely be hard as well. I have had to learn how to have boundaries and separate myself from the things people are feeling and to use this strength in positive ways. As hard as it is to have days like this, I think it's good because that's what brings me closer to Him. He draws me in and assures me that He is in control and that He is good. I have to choose to live in those truths. To trust in God and that he knows what's best and he will take care of the people I love.

I was also encouraged by the beginning of Psalm 100 as I was reading this morning. It says, "Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture."

I hope you can be encouraged today too...no matter what you are going through that God is in control, He loves you and that He sacrificed it all for you.

delicious tostadas

I got this recipe from a friend a couple weeks ago and it's one of my new favorite. You can add different things or use meat but here's what I used:

1 pack of hard tostada shells
1 rotisserie chicken
1 can of refried beans
shredded cheddar cheese
lettuce
avocado
tomato
salsa
green onions
cilantro

Chop up the chicken and lettuce, warm up beans. Spread beans on the tostada shell and top with the rest of the ingredients. Easy as that. Enjoy!

God's Love

Recently Jeff and I were having a conversation about the ways we are starting to grasp God's love for us since we have had Raegan.

A book I am reading puts it like this, "There is no substitute for the way children teach us about God. The way they depend on us, trust us, and imitate us is a beautiful picture of how we are to be as God's children. The Bible challenges us to have faith like these little ones: 'let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' and he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.' [Mark 10:14-16]" - Totally Desperate Mom by Wendy Hagen

Before I had Raegan I knew God loved me. I thought I understood how much and what his sacrifice meant. But I had no idea. I am just now starting to grasp how much he loves me. I am so in love with our sweet daughter. I would do anything for her. The choices I make and the things I do now are all in consideration of what is best for her. God is the same with me. He would do anything for me. In fact, he did do EVERYTHING for me. The plans he has for my life are what is best for me even though I might not know it at the time. Raegan can do nothing to earn my love and I can do nothing to earn Christ's love. It's reassuring to know on my best days and on my worst days that God loves me the same.

One of the other things that I have been thinking about is God's love for Raegan and his plans for her life. It is so comforting to know that I can multiply the amount I love her by infinity and that is how much God loves her. As I continue to pray for her and pray for God to help me be the best mom I can be, I can rest in the fact that our savior is here. He is walking alongside Jeff and me as we grow as parents, as we do things right and when we make mistakes, and as we celebrate this little life he has blessed us with.

I pray I can keep these things in view and remember the truth as I have days that aren't the easiest. Not that I ever have hard days or anything! :)

bam-boooooooooo

As we continue to get settled into our house Jeff and I continue to think of things we want to do. Things that are small and would take a day, like installing the surround sound speakers, and others that would take a lot more time, like tearing out all the bamboo in our front planter and planting other things in its place. We both have opinions about which of these things should be done first and which ones can wait. Well, let me just give a little context for the story I'm about to tell...Most of the week I spend inside the house. When the weekend comes along and Jeff is outside working on projects I would love to be out there with him but it's a little hard since I can't do everything he can. Let me correct myself, I can't do really anything he can. However, as we started talking about tearing out the bamboo in our front planter I thought to myself, "I think I could do that...yeah, for sure I could." So I kept asking Jeff if he would mind me doing it. He was resistant at first but then finally said, "If you want to you can, but just know that I have other things to do and won't be able to help you at all. In fact, I would prefer to wait to do it, but if you really want to, go ahead." So, I decided to take that as a challenge and prove to him that I could tear all the bamboo out without his help at all and I got to work. Here's what it looked like before


It took me a few hours and by the time it was all torn out I had filled up both of our big garbage bins and about 6 black garbage bags. I only asked him for help one time, and that was at the end while I was loading all the garbage bags up. :) hehehe...but let me tell you, I felt like a grandma for the next week because I could barely move my fingers and the joints hurt so bad! What I thought was going to be an easy project turned into a much more complicated one because little did I know bamboo roots grow like crazy and you can't just plant in the same dirt they were planted in. Jeff dug a foot down and moved the dirt to the side of the house, then sprayed the planter with weed killer for a couple weeks. Then, just this past weekend he had to dig dirt from another big hole on the side of the house and transplant it. Whew...that was a lot of work! Then we were ready to plant.

Here's how it turned out


Sorry for the long drawn out story. But the moral of the story is that sometimes things take a little longer than I think, especially if you are going to do them right. Also, my husband is a patient man :)

Grace

First, let me start with a couple disclaimers...
1. I have wanted to start blogging for a while because since I'm home all day every day now I have a lot of thoughts going through my mind. I haven't started because of the appearance of my blog. Who knows when I will get it figured out so I decided I may as well just start and get that figured out later.

2. I am not a great writer, so sorry in advance. I would love to share what is going on in our lives as well as things I have been thinking about. I hope you enjoy despite that fact!



But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. -2 Corinthians12:9

Grace. A word that constantly comes up for me. Wouldn't it be easy to just believe what He says is true? That HIS grace is sufficient for me and in my weakness HIS power is made perfect. I have always had a hard time giving myself grace. I expect perfection and nothing less. My expectations are high and often unattainable. This has gotten even worse now that I'm a mom. I want to do it right, I want Raegan to be a good baby who sleeps well, eats well and is happy. I don't want to do something that will impact her in a negative way so I am constantly thinking about what I am doing and how it is going to effect her. Things like if I rock her to sleep is she ever going to be able to get to sleep on her own, should I be feeding her solid foods yet and how much and if I feed her fruit first is she going to eat her vegetables. Let me just tell you, it gets tiring thinking like this all day. These are only a couple examples of what goes on in my mind.

I was talking with somebody the other day about how I am going to mess up and I have messed up in the past. I am going to make mistakes and that's okay. They brought up a good point about how my expectations and lack of grace for myself could actually effect Raegan in a negative way. If she grows up seeing the pressure I put on myself what is she going to think? Will she think that I expect the same things from her that I expect from myself? I never thought about it that way and I appreciated that perspective.

So here I am at the end of another day where I didn't give myself any grace. I am tired and cranky and emotional. I don't like it. I want God's grace to be sufficient for me. He freely give me grace, why can't I give it to myself? Starting tonight I am going to try harder. Try and focus on His word and the promise He makes. We'll see how that goes. :)